i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
