This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
