He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
