This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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