So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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