I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
