can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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