That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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