Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
