lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
NoShamevember. You game?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
