I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
