i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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