How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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