saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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