How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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