eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
