i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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