now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
