Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have fence marks all over my body
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
