Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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