..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
