i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
