Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We left the knife in your bed.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
