4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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