chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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