I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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