Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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