GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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