K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
