So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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