1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
