don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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