well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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