she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
