Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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