you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
