dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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