how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
