he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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