my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Randomize
