Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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