Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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