I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
