Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
