Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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