Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
