why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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