Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
