so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
