We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
