Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
either way he was missing a nipple.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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